Friday, May 31, 2013

Dancing in the Rain

It’s not all doom and gloom. In fact, life after the death of my marriage has been more ups than downs. People came out of the woodwork to help me. All of these wonderful people remind me every day, there is good left in the world. I have far more friends than I thought I did. Even people who I shoved aside for my whirlwind romance have forgiven me and offered their hand when I needed it most.

I have pages of notes about things from my past, and I intend to tell my full story, but I want my blog to be more than that, too. There is life after the storm. I’m not a victim any more. I’m a survivor. Victim-hood is in my past.

In less than a year, with a little help from my friends and family, I went from rock bottom to feeling pretty good about where I am in life. I still have bad days, of course, but who doesn’t?

I don’t have a fully equipped kitchen yet, but let me just tell you, it truly is amazing how fast “things” are acquired. The best part… I already knew what “things” I wanted the most and what I would use the most.

I would walk away from it all again in a heartbeat to protect my nest.

Although it’s been a rough transition for us all, the difference I see in my son is the most dramatic. The boy I knew before was quiet, reserved and bit depressed. I would be too if someone called me a dumb ass every day, especially if that person was someone who I looked up to with great admiration. Although he has rebelled a lot, I see a new side to him. Quiet is not a word I would use to describe my son anymore. He’s passionate, outgoing, and pure teenager!

My daughter, fortunately, was only three when we left. She only remembers small pieces of her father. I believe even those memories will fade in time, especially since he’s chosen not to be a part of her life in any way. It took around seven months for her nightmares to stop. She still has an occasional bad dream, but waking up nightly screaming and sobbing is not normal. Both kids had nightmares, and it was on the list of ways children are affected when living with domestic violence, but her nightmares were on another level.

I have learned so much about myself, my kids and the world during the past year. I know who my true friends are, and I know for certain blood is not thicker than water. That being said, I don’t think I could have done any of this without my mother, my brother and my sister-in-law.

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about Learning to Dance in the Rain.”