Living
used to be so dreadfully cluttered. Between two boys and myself, there was
always a mess somewhere. Then came my daughter, and it was all over with. Now,
imagine trying to move.
May
of 2005 was the first time we separated. Initially, he stayed in a hotel room.
Either that got too expensive, or he was having issues with the girl he was
talking to. That is one story I’ve never uncovered completely. From my
perspective, he was giving us another try. It didn’t matter to me that I was
miserable and we fought all the time.
After
he came back from the hotel, within a week he decided we were over. I came to
my senses and moved out the following week. The day of the move, I had family
coming to help. I think the idea of it made him anxious, so he was ready to throw
everything out into the yard. Family was always the source of a lot of anxiety,
and it always caused many problems between us. He never wanted anything to do
with my family, which was very upsetting.
My
son’s bed needed to be disassembled with a drill, something neither of us cared
to own, but he couldn’t wait. When the screwdriver didn’t work, he proceeded to
slam the bed down the steps. He was so angry for no apparent reason. I was
leaving. It was what he wanted. I didn’t want to see the bed in pieces though,
so I tried to help. What a disaster. It wasn’t working, and the next thing I
knew, there was a screwdriver flying at me. It hit me square in the abdomen. It
hurt, but I was thankful it didn’t pierce my skin! Later, while changing my
clothes, I noticed a giant bruise right where it hit. I never told a soul, but
I did show it to him. He begged me to forgive him, and how could I not?
Family
eventually showed up, and we got the bed and the rest of the furniture loaded
into the truck. I came back later for the mounds of clothes in the bedroom.
Being the good-hearted person I am, I even came back and helped him move what remained
a month later. He didn’t have anyone else to help him, and I was always very sympathetic
to his self-induced isolation.
Going
through the closets in the master bedroom, I found a plastic grocery bag in the
far corner. What I found is still a bit disturbing, although I’m not completely
sure why. Maybe because I had never seen it before, and it was hidden in the
closet; I asked him why he had a flannel shirt and a hockey mask. He responded
nonchalantly about his intentions to scare my son, but he had decided it was a
bad idea. I still don’t believe his story. He would have told me about it if
this deeply disturbing idea had been true.
Some
things are meant to stay buried, but I will always wonder what it was really
for.
Image courtesy of http://tinyurl.com/mlsnnte
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